A few days ago, my dear friend Catie Macken, texted me a photo of a snail slowly devouring a mushroom. During my most recent Retreat in Topanga, snails became a powerful symbol for the weekend inviting us to slow down, move intentionally, and be present with our surroundings. Catie murmured a phrase that I not only can’t shake…I’m using it as my ethos for summer.
“The snail is luxuriating in this meal.” Remember this.
PS: my friend Catie is an absolutely brilliant breathwork guide, astrologer and beyond. You can immerse yourself in her powerful work at www.catiemacken.com. She is a sorceress.
I’ve felt timid discussing the topic of this Newsletter due to vulnerability, but it’s been living quietly in my own personal conversations, emails and messages for quite some time. In 2022, Ben and I moved to Vermont and started building a life that we always envisioned for ourselves. In 2023, we got married. Since 2020, I’ve had the immense pleasure and privilege of sharing my work and cultivating a global community that must be one of the most compassionate and genuine corners of the internet.
All the while, a darkness loomed over my head and took host within my body. Endometriosis and Adenomyosis. Presently, I possess the clarity to share with you that I wasn’t as honest as I could have been. This was largely because I knew that if I shared anymore, I’d be greeted with requests for advice and how could I take care of others when I struggled to care for myself? I possess the clarity now that I “pretended” to be ok for the sake of my own self-preservation.
You know when you get SPF in your eyes and you can see, but it stings and feels blurry? It isn’t until you flush your eyes out and blink countless times that you are met with the gratitude of being able to see in the first place. During the height of my physical symptoms, I was here with you leading classes, holding space, and doing the absolute best I could while I was flooded with mood swings, anxiety, pelvic pain, breast and belly swelling, decreased appetite, and beyond. I was honest with you all. I remember themes like To The Wall, sharing with you at the beginning how terribly I felt - yet being able to flip the switch into my teacher role in a way that looked effortless to you. This wasn’t fair to you and it wasn’t fair to me. I wish I had been more honest.
It wasn’t until my surgery in late February that I realized I had spent the last 2.5 years with metaphorical SPF in my eyes. It wasn’t until I met a provider who heard me, cared for me and took action that I was able to flush my eyes and see and feel clearly for the first time in years. I’m telling you all this but would love to focus my direction to those of you who live, or live closely, with someone living with a chronic illness. It is exhausting pretending that everything is ok when it isn’t. It isn’t fair to “play pretend” for society when you feel as though every ounce of your energy is being sucked by the disease living inside of you. I want to invite you to feel your feelings out loud - may I suggest screaming them into the void? After all, this is how Jitterbug was born, I should add.
I find myself grieving the truth that I was not able to be fully present for our move to Vermont or our wedding. I find myself feeling guilty that you all thought I was ok, when I wasn’t ok - which brings me back to the snail.
My friends, this is the summer of the snail.
For the first time since 2021, all of my senses aren’t fixated on my pain. Admittedly, I’ve never done psychedelics but I swear life feels technicolor because I am able to see, touch, smell, hear, taste, connect and feel what life has to offer.
I can feel the tickle of the grass on my bare feet
I can hear River’s heartbeat in his chest
Conversations with friends feel deeper
Food tastes better
I can touch my belly and smile at it
I can hear 12 different bird songs
I’m a more compassionate teacher
I feel free - but also acutely aware of what is still living inside of me which is why I am “luxuriating in this meal” for as long as I possibly can. For me, this means embracing a slow summer. A summer of gardening, long walks in the woods, barbecues, bitters (my new thing, look below), sipping multiple cups of tea on the porch…being honestly and truthfully present with you all.
When Catie texted me the photograph of the snail, we realized that all that snail had to do in that moment was to luxuriate in her meal. This is my hope for all of us this summer. From the bottom of my heart, I hope that you are able to take pockets of time to ignite your senses, connect with friends, rest, and marinate in the magic of summer.
For my friends who are in the thick of it - please let me know how I can help metaphorically flush the SPF out of your eyes. This isn’t a battle you need to fight alone and it certainly isn’t a burden you need to internally suppress for the happiness of others. Because this is an exchange of energy, a friendship – you all have my vow that I will be even more transparent and honest moving forward.
Snails symbolically represent perseverance and a call for introspection which leads me to believe that Nature herself keeps guiding me towards being in the presence of these beings.
Off to go on a walk in search of my next snail….
Announcements
I will be off hosting a Retreat from July 12th-15th. There will be a Live Class on Friday July 12th but not on Monday July 15th! In addition, I will be away celebrating my Dad's 70th birthday from July 18th-21st. During this week, you can expect an altered Live Class schedule but I will of course be leaving you with our Guided Weekly Movement offering! Please head to Range or to my IG for more current details coming soon.
I will be hosting another Open Range week in August! For those unfamiliar, Open Range is when I open up Range to the public without even having to commit to your trial. You will have access to 3 Live Classes (as well as their recordings!) to see if Range might be a good fit for you! Please note that you must be in your free trial or a member to view the rest of the platform. Dates and detailed instructions will be available on my IG towards the end of July!
Summer Sips
My good friend Meg Gerber of @groundednourish introduced me to bitters. She created her own line of digestive bitters called JÜJ and I have been loving them for months and months. Ironically, my neighbor and kindred spirit, Meridith, introduced me to a different kind of bitters that I have been equally loving on the weekends!
LIGHT & REFRESHING
Bitters Mocktail
Seltzer—I typically fill a large mason jar
JÜJ Bitters—Cranbiscus is my favorite. I typically add 2-3 dropper fulls.
Lime juice—1/2 to 1 whole lime depending on your preference
Sweetener—I have been loving making simple syrups out of basil, mint and lavender but honey and maple syrup are perfect as well.
EARTHY & BRIGHT
La Garagista Orleans Spritz Cocktail
Prepare a chilled wine glass and fill with ice
La Garagista Orleans* or bitters of choice—1 oz
Optional white wine of choice—just a splash!
Maple Syrup or homemade simple syrup (I love making mint for this but could always put in a mint leaf instead!)—1/4 oz
Seltzer—to top it off! I find that this is majority seltzer. That’s how I like it!
*La Garagista is a winery out of neighboring Barnard, Vermont. Their wines and ciders are earthy, funky and totally refreshing. No worries if you don’t have access to it, Campari and Sirene are wonderful alternatives! I’ve been loving this as a slightly lower ABV option on the weekends.
1. JÜJ Bitters – delicious and good for the belly
2. La Garagista Wines – natural and earthy
3. OGAARD Drinking Glasses – chic, chic, chic
3 SMALL BUSINESS
In one way or another, these small businesses are woven into our Range web. Each month, I’ll be sharing 3!
SOAPWALLA
@soapwalla
Whatever skin you’re in, Soapwalla is here to nourish, soothe and make it the happiest it can be. We’re about quality—we obsess over every ingredient and only partner with trusted growers. We’re about transparency—you’ll always know what’s in our products and why. We’re about inclusivity—our products are made for every body. We’re about sustainability—we use only clean, vegan ingredients, sustainable packaging, and we never test on animals. * for ALL humans.
Studio PWR
@pwr.pilateswithrebecca
For my Cape Cod friends! Studio PWR is a small Pilates Reformer studio.
Power, reformed. The power of strength, flexibility, mobility, and longevity in every class. Rebecca offers in person, as well as virtual pilates mat, Pilates reformer, and tower classes.
Candle Cowboy
@candlecowboy
I'm Riley, the owner of Candle Cowboy, based in Auburn, Maine! I make sustainable candles using ethical ingredients in vintage vessels (mugs, cups, bowls, etc.) to prevent unnecessary waste and also to give vintage items a second life :)
3 SONGS
1. Deep Rivers Run Quiet, Black Rivers Remix
3. No Words (Crewdson Remix), Sijya